I finally get to see you in person tonight.
Both of us had shared the same secret at the same time, and even though you don’t know me, your songs tell me otherwise. Because of this, In high school I was madly attached to your identity — to the point where I dressed up as you for Halloween (it’s just a shaved head and a Gap sweater, nbd fr.)
Along the way, we have slowly accepted who we are, embraced even, only to then go through bouts of depression and uncertainties to what this identity really means to us. From the depths of Darkness to the peaks of On the Verge of Happiness, there were nights I can feel so numb, so empty. There just has to be something more.
But throughout these years, I am the island and you are the sea. Through moments of uncertainities and insecurities, you surround me and it’s life saving simply knowing someone else is still figuring things out too. And over these years I’ve written to you twice, both times getting a response. Thank you for treating me with care.
I am now forty, and all I feel is so blessed to have someone who I can connect and grow with along these years. There are other artists I enjoy, sure, but few have shaped me with ideas of courage, love, secret codes and battleships the way you have.
And most of all, thank you for your flaw, for figuring things out, and for being human in not being perfect but just having the audacity to keep going. Just as you’re in the era of accepting your joy, tonight I am allowing myself to stand proud and be excited. Maybe you will get to see me too.
Leave a Reply