The Idea That’s Changed My Life

We’re all living in uncertainties right now, one way or another. We’re all unsure about the pandemic, our employment, our health, our relationships with those we love… the list continues as our anxiety grows.

Over the past few years, I had done my fair share of reflection and responsibility ownership through countless therapy, running, and meditation sessions. I‘ve had a lot of time to talk, think, and sit on my own thoughts with each of these sessions. Over time I created this idea to separate the idea of selves, specifically by following these three shifts in my mindset that inevitably changed my life:

Thank your past ➡️ Own your present ➡️ Prep for the future

The core idea of this is to separate your selves. Who you were yesterday is not the person who you are today, and the version of you today will be different from the person you will be in the future. There is a responsibility to acknowledge all parts of your selves:

Thank your past. Sure, you are who you are because your friends and family’s support, but it’s also because of your privilege, your luck, and of course your own hard work along the way. Before you work on your future, it’s important to show gratitude and acknowledge all the work and accomplishments from your past self for putting you where you’re at today.

Own your present. Now that you’ve shown gratitude and are mindful about your past, it’s time to let it go and move on. Owning your present means taking full responsibility and accepting your present self. Instead of blaming your current decision on your past, shift that responsibility, power, and focus to what you can do right now. You’re doing X because of Y in the past (or worse, that Y had happened to you), you’re doing X because you’re actively choosing to do so right now.

Out of the three shifts in mindset, this is the by far the most difficult one to shift into — one that I’m continuously working on. The core idea is to not give yourself an out and to believe you’re not already holding the keys to living your life. If you’re slacking off, realize that it’s your choice, right now, that you’re deciding to slack off. If you’re staying up late when you should be going to bed, realize that you’re actively deciding to do this — no one else is forcing you not to go to bed. So when you’re tired tomorrow, you know that it was on you and no one else.

Instead of relying on the unpredictable winds to carry you through (and hope that it takes you to the right direction), owning your present empowers you to be the captain of your own ship. There is a lot more to this I can go into, so I might create a separate post specifically on this in the future.

Prep for your future. Your present is going to be tomorrow’s past, so in order to thank you past tomorrow you have to not only own your present, but also prep for your tomorrow, today. The good thing is this isn’t as hard as it sounds! A good example is to cook with the slow cooker. You know you want a wonderfully slow-cooked dinner tonight but it takes eight hours, so you prep ahead of time in the morning. This shift is basically that — doing things now to so you can thank yourself later.

I apply this mindset to all areas of my life whereever I can: Add water to the Brita filter now so I can have fresh water later. Put aside money now for retirement later. Prep for next week’s meeting now (by adding notes into the invite) so future me won’t forget about the the discussion topics or action items in the future.

Now the coolest part is this — by prepping for your future now, you’ll inevitably be thanking your past later. This cycle repeats itself endlessly and over time you’ll have less burden from your past, more ownership in your present, and more outlook for your future. By focusing more on each of your selves separately, they can create a more meaningful impact to your life as a whole.


I didn’t learn about the separation of selves and these shifts in mindsets in any one book specifically, instead I was inspired by countless productivity and other self-help books in order to develop this “recipe” over time. By learning to be more grateful, accountable, and future-thinking, I became the captain of my own ship over time, instead of letting (or blaming) the wind to take me somewhere I felt I didn’t belong.

This was just an introduction to the idea of separating your selves, and I can expand more about each of these three mindset shifts in future posts. In the mean time, I invite you to ask yourself (or comment below) on the following questions to get started:

  1. How can you thank your past for getting you to where you are today?
  2. What decision can you own / what action can you take today regardless of the past?
  3. What can you do now ahead of time to set up for tomorrow’s success?

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Rain, Plants, and Everything Else


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Foreword

First of all, thank you for subscribing to FORWARD.

In this social-first, auto-playing video, trending topic world, FORWARD is aimed to be the opposite of all of that noise. Not quite a blog, not quite a newsletter, my hope for FORWARD is to provide a monthly dose of inspirational features for you to check out when you have time instead of offering something that will fight for your time.

In this issue, you’ll find an update on the California drought, how to keep plants alive, why it’s important to speak up, and more! This is the first issue so please be patient as things may evolve over time as the newsletter forms its own identity. But in the mean time, please take a look at FORWARD, and join me in this brand new journey.

Oh! And if you like the newsletter, please share by forwarding (hehe) the newsletter to your friends and family.

Let the rain fall down

Before and After the Rain

After weeks of heavy rain, it seems to finally help California alleviate its record-setting drought. KQED did a nifty feature where you can compare the massive difference between 2014 and 2017 side-by-side. You can check out the feature here.

Not so Tender Greens

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Despite my best intention, I have yet to keep a single Rosemary plant alive around the apartment. My black thumb has become somewhat of a joke as Ian keeps buying me Rosemary plants to “replenish” my dead ones. You can check out the feature here.

Minus365: T-Shirts

I’ve always lived minimally, but even with a mindful intention my closet still tend to fill up over time. I was watching The Minimalists, a documentary currently available on Netflix, the other night and it totally sparked an idea for me to declutter my life.

Minus365 is where I will remove/donate one object from my life every day for all of 2017. Each month will be based on a different theme, and I’m starting with t-shirts for January to kick start this yearlong project. Just think, if I were to keep this up for the entire year, there will be 365 fewer things around my apartment, and my life!

Between all the t-shirts I was given (or earned?) in my five year of working at IGN along with other gifts and sentimental hand-me-downs, my closet is full of t-shirts. Are you curious enough to join Minus365? If so, reply to this email and send me pictures of your 30 t-shirts (or whatever you decide to remove!).

Say Something

Jamelia, A British R&B Singer

“The problem is that we don’t tell you, we speak about it amongst ourselves and you get to carry on about your day not realizing you’ve ruined ours.” Jamelia

Recently Jamelia, a British R&B singer, was on board a first-class flight with her daughter, only to be questioned by other passengers who asked to see their airplane tickets. She stood her ground and went on Twitter to explain why. You can read more about the incident here.

Now, I’m not a fan of hers because I have barely heard of her before this incident. But this happens all too often to me and to minorities everywhere. Like Jamelia said, I tend to be too polite or try to rationalize myself to be “the bigger person” instead of speaking up and calling out bullies who makes hurtful or ignorant comments.

But words do hurt, and their comments ruminate with me for the rest of day if not for weeks to come. Why do they get to carry on their day while we suffer silently? It’s not fair, it’s not acceptable, and it’s time we speak up.

Between Us: Classic Aransky

Maybe it’s my connection to RIT or maybe it’s me working at the crazy world that is IGN, but I have a lot of friends who are constantly working on various creative projects. Since FORWARD is a monthly showcase of all things interesting and inspirational, I want to use this space and share with you other interesting projects my friends are also working on.

Classic Aransky logo

Meet Michael Aransky and his new video blog, Classic Aransky. By day he’s a senior producer at IGN, and by night he’s on a yearlong journey to get comfortable in front of a camera as he works his way toward to making his first movie since 2012. You can check it out here.

If you have an interesting project and want to be featured on FORWARD, simply reply to this newsletter and tell me all about it!

Take a Minute

Photo by Michael Browning, courtesy of Unsplash


And..that’s it for January! Please (ahem…) FORWARD this to a friend if you enjoy this newsletter, or sign up below if someone had shared this newsletter with you in mind.

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Love wins

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry but I can't eat that
I'm sorry I can't drink
I'm sorry but I have to go to the gym
I'm sorry I have to go to bed early
I'm sorry but there's cardio to be done
I'm sorry but I have to work
I'm sorry but I banned myself from fast food
I'm sorry but I have to wake up early
I'm sorry but I need to focus
I'm sorry, today is my off day
I'm sorry but I need to write
I'm sorry I can't eat out
I'm sorry but I can't party yet
I'm sorry but this is my dream
I'm sorry now...but when you see what I dreamed of in my mind...you will understand

Better Man Project (Facebook)