Chapter 4: Being Gay

This is part four of my project, the Ingredients of Fear, where I peel back the onion and reveal everything that’s been beating me down and holding me back inside. Click here to learn more about The Ingredients of Fear.


In classic fairytales, the princess would meet the prince, and through overcoming evil or learning an important life lesson, they would live happily ever after. They’d never have to worry about filing taxes on time, dealing with severe droughts, or even the potential hidden danger of consuming genetically-modified soybeans.

My coming out process was supposed to be the story. In a conservative Chinese family, the protagonist realized the value of truth and self-worth, and risked everything to be himself. Fueled by cultural differences, there was a dramatic clash with his parents but through the power of love, everyone came together, saw past their differences, and learned a valuable life lesson. And like the end of every fairytale, having gone through everything I’m supposed to end up with this new found confidence and everything else in my life should fall neatly into place, including my very own happily ever after ending!

But as it turns out, coming out the closet was only the prologue to my story. TL;DR — I’m a friggin’ homo, now what? Turns out, being a gay man is a lot more than just being attracted to your own gender. If only.

Continue reading “Chapter 4: Being Gay”

Chapter 3: Coming Out

This is part three of my project, the Ingredients of Fear, where I peel back the onion and reveal everything that’s been beating me down and holding me back inside. Click here to learn more about The Ingredients of Fear.


It was January 29th, and the year was 1999. I was sixteen at the time, and there was a giant “Publish” button staring at me. My heart was jumping out of my chest, so I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, clicked the button, and exhale. Within a minute my website went live, along with my first online journal entry.

“…I was very mad throughout the day until I went to a supermarket, and saw 2 really (really) good looking men, European accent, WOW! My mood changed sooo fast!!” it read.

Poorly written and embarrasingly hormonal, but just like that, I finally came out to myself — I’m gay.

Years later I found myself feeling the same way, this time with the Ingredients of Fear. The idea of opening up to talking about my darkest fears is a powerful one, but the actual process of doing so is also incredibly scary and probably really dumb. So there I was, with the giant “Publish” button back and staring right in front of me, daring me to click on it…

Continue reading “Chapter 3: Coming Out”

LGBT visibility in the media (in the past 10 years)

tl;dr – Despite the setback of DADT and Prop 8, LGBT visibility in pop culture has never been better. Our turn to be the cool kids.

Seeing how this is the third article here on coolyourgrits, I’m still not entirely sure what and what-not to write on this blog. I guess this is what happens when the only rule I have set for myself so far is to 1) keep writing and 2) not write about grits. So far so good right?

One of the things I’ve noticed recently is how far the media has portrayed the LGBT in pop culture. From comic books to television to radio and movies, it seems like we have finally entered the golden age for LGBT awareness. Continue reading “LGBT visibility in the media (in the past 10 years)”